guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
