if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Randomize
