i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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