We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
