I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize