i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
