sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
