now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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