I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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