Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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