Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize