Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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