I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize