@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
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