it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
