eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
