the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
These tits shall not be calmed
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