your room smells of hookers.
And success
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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