apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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