she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
