Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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