Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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