I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
be right there i have to get my cape
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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