How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
