That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
