Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
