GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
