so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize