he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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