1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
