Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
