hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
