This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
