Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
