that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we're making bets on your personal life
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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