I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
