R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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