So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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