booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
