can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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