Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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