if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I need help removing her.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
