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• (904): View more from Florida

  Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  wtf?

  (904): View more from Florida

  It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups

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• (239): View more from Florida

  My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"

  (925): View more from California

  Best wishes.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic

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