I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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