OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
why is half of my head shaved?
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