he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
