just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
