I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
