You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
