I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
