i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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