I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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