ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
