how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
