Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
