That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
