How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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