I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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