I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
