Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm always down for nudity.
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