he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
