i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
