How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
