okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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