i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
